So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
