It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
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