I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize