You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
No subtext here. People are naked.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
