physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I supernannyed him into submission
Randomize
