He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
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