I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
