Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
