does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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