I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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