you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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