google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Randomize
