Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
