this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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