Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
