It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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