We should be called the Road Head Warriors
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
