happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Randomize
