Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
