I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize
