Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
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That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
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I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again