Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
