ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
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