I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
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