Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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