Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
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