I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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