Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
