apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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