please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
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