I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize