Can Purell be used as lube?
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Randomize
