i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
