Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
