He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
