Christians are straight up FREAKS
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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