you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
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