So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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