come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
The beer is more important than you right now.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Randomize
