@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
