is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
