dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
He told me they were just razor bumps!
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Randomize
