I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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