TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
