operation have a gay friend backfired
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
