): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
