theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
