So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
