soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Randomize
