Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
Randomize
