Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
Quick, to the slutcave!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
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