she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
