so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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