I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Randomize
