Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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