I CAN MOONWALK!
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
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you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
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you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
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