Kiss
Puke
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Randomize
