i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize
