i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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