So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Randomize
