My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
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