It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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