Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
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